Kruis Connection: Hannah Joy Kruis

Our little Hannah Joy was born Friday October 26, 2012 at 7:37am. My labor began on Thursday but really didn't kick into gear until 4am Friday morning. It was at this point I knew I was in labor but still only having uncomfortable contractions that were 8 minutes apart. I kept thinking I couldn't possibly be in active labor because I wasn't in pain. I started having the contractions that take your breath away at 5am so at that point J and I got ready to head to the hospital. My mom was already at our home and was ready to watch the girls. We got to the hospital and were checking in at 6:30am when my contractions were getting a little more intense but I was still having 5-8 minute breaks between them when I felt fine. Once I was in the triage room the nurse checked me and I was 7 cm already. I couldn't believe I was that far along. By the time they got me to the delivery room I was 8 cm. My dad had just finished his shift at 7am at Baylor and walked into the room as the nurse was announcing I was at 9cm. At this point I was still holding out hope for an epidural because I have never delivered naturally before and wasn't interested in trying to. I guess you could say that was one of my worst fears, pushing out a baby without any pain medication. Well, I guess God wanted me to face my worst fear because when the nurse happily announced I was complete and ready to push, I started to cry knowing there was no hope of an epidural.

Jason saw the look of fear on my face when they told me it was time to push and immediately he started to pray for me. He reminded me that Christ perfects us through our sufferings and that our sufferings only last for a while and not for eternity. The bible tells us we are not to fear the things of this world including our sufferings. Instead we are to put our hope and trust in Christ and know that he will give us the grace and mercy we need to endure all of the sufferings we encounter in this life. By being fearful I am not trusting in Christ and resting in the peace he offers. With some good biblical truth spoken in my ear I was able to calm down and know that God was going to bring me through the suffering and pain of child birth. So began the pushing and yes, the pain but I was no longer fearful. Feeling Hannah come out was unlike anything I had ever experienced but the moment she was pulled out all I could feel was joy and excitement. Once she was out I yelled, 'I did it naturally' just in case the nursing staff didn't know I had done this without an epidural. It wasn't until later I realized I had pushed out a 9 lb baby!!! It took 1 hour from the time we arrived at the hospital until the moment Hannah was born and what an hour that was :)

My dad was so excited to be there for Hannah's birth. He delivered Claire and was heart broken to be in California while Grace was being delivered in Texas. He was a very calming and excited coach to have next to my side. What a blessing to have such calming men by my side as I faced my fear.

Thinking back on my labor and delivery a friend was reminding me that the pain of childbirth is a direct result of sin. The bible tells us that after Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden that Eve's punishment (and women forever after) was to have painful childbirth. There is so much imagery of birth pains, labor pains, and childbirth in the bible. Jason was reading to me from 1 Thessalonians 5:3 and it mentions the labor pains of a woman and how there is no escape from them. When the nurse told me I was 9 cm my flesh response to Jason was 'I don't want to do this' but of course I knew there was no escape. I had to go through labor and be in bondage without an escape route for as long as it would take. This imagery of sin was very powerful for me to think through after the birth of Hannah. We are in bondage to our sin without an escape and it is not until we have Christ that we can truly be freed from our bondage. The moment Hannah was pulled out I felt freedom and joy. In the same way I can say that as a believer I have freedom and joy knowing Christ has taken me from the bondage of sin.

Overall, I had many wonderful lessons to learn and to meditate on after this birth experience. We are overjoyed to have our little Hannah and know she is our reward, our heritage, and our blessing because the bible tells us that is what all children are (Psalm 127:3-5).